Roses Are Red, Dead Men Are White
by the woman is a wolf
Summary: Summary: It has been a few months since Croft Manor erupted in flame and since Alister was killed by the Doppelganger. Has Lara begun the slow descent into madness. If so, who can stop her from drowning? No slash. Nothing supernatural.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hey guys! First of all, thanks for clicking on this story! Cookie for you! *throws a cookie* XD Sorry for the terribly short chapters... but hey... it's my first fanfic, cut me some slack :P On that note, PLEASE don't flame! :( However, contructive criticism is always welcome! Just to let you know, there is nothing supernatural in this story. So anyway, I love you and leave you (for now *evil laugh* :P)! Enjoy!**

Roses are Red, Dead Men are White

Chapter One: Roses are Red…

The wind howled. The rain pelted down, stinging the sole, standing figure, like thousands upon thousands of minute glass shards. Nonetheless the figure remained how and where she stood, still and resolute, her head bowed over a grave. The grave was freshly dug, it's soil black like the clouds that loomed overhead. The bare trees towered above the graveyard, swaying and groaning as if mourning with the lone mourner…

_Or maybe it's the spirits complaining at my presence… _The mourner thought.

_Spirits indeed! _She reprimanded herself.

_Stupid girl! _Thunder rumbled ominously as the mourner bent down and placed a solitary scarlet rose on the freshly turned soil, and then stood as rigid as a poker. She recited part of a poem, and the words echoed in her head, her gaze on the rose.

"My Love is Like a Red, Red Rose, that's newly sprung in June…"

_So red… like the blood on his shirt. _She thought. A solitary, silent tear trickled down her hooded face… and the face was none other than Lara Croft's. She shook her head as she tried to rid herself of the image. The image of blood, blossoming like a rose over a spotless white shirt. A rose bursting through the snow.

Lara felt herself breaking, buckling like paper carelessly dropped in a puddle. She fell to her knees, shaking with rage and sorrow. Sorrow at the death of Alister, rage at the fact that she hadn't had the courage to tell him what she knew she should have. Rage at the Doppelganger. Rage at death, Rage at the unfairness of it all. Lara wasn't a good loser. But she had never lost before. But now however, realisation had just dealt it's powerful blow. She had lost.

She raised her head and shouted accusingly at the sky.

"Why? What have I done? What did he do?" Furious that she wasn't getting an answer, Lara continued.

"Why did he have to die? What will it take for me to _get him back_?" The wind blew all the more harshly, mocking her.

"Answer me!" Lara yelled, raising her voice above the thunder, above the wind.

"I know you're there!" Lara stopped her rant abruptly. She trembled. Not because of the biting rain and freezing wind, but because of terror. Terror because she had lost control like this. And because she realised, she was broke. She, Lara, the impenetrable ice fortress, had broke.

Lara raked in hoarse, ragged breaths between sobs that racked her body. The cold bit into her harshly, until she was numb. She felt a hand on her shoulder. A familiar voice said her name.

"Lara…" It whispered softly, seductively.

"Lara…"

_Was this what it was like to lose your mind?_ Lara thought as the man sunk to his knees beside her.

_Am I losing my mind?_

**So anyway, love? Hate? Please review and tell me what you think!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Hi guys! Thanks for the great review! Special thanks to the ones that noticed my efforts with description and imagery. On those lines, this chapter probably isn't as good. Nonetheless, I hope you enjoy!**

Chapter Two: Abnormal Arguments

Lara looked at the man. His hair was dripping and clinging to his forehead with great tenacity. And those eyes! She could easily lose herself in those blue eyes. They were bluer than a cloudless sky on a perfect summer's day. A vivid picture suddenly materialised in her minds eye. An image of her floating through the clear blue, on warm air currents that carried her gently and caressed her face. A drop of freezing water trickled down her neck, abruptly pulling her from her day-dream. She was still gazing at the man in front of her. Alister was just as she remembered. That is, if it was Alister. Maybe this was some cruel, sadist joke from one of her numerous enemies. But still… it was hard to imagine any other man on earth would have a smile quite like his. The dashing smile, which she knew all too well.

"What… Who… Who are you?" She asked Alister shakily, terror, black, ice cold terror seeping into her veins for the second time that chilling night. Alister tutted at her and shook his head, mocking disappointment.

"Dear, dear Lara. It's not been _that _long. Don't tell me you don't remember my name!"

"No! No! It's not you! This isn't real! You're _dead_!"

"Really?" He leaned forward and kissed her gently. Lara's eyes opened wide. His touch was cool, yet warm. Gentle yet firm. She had never felt so content, so at peace before in her life. The experience was indescribable, and he pulled away all too quickly.

"Did that feel real?" He asked her, his irresistible smile still plastered on his face.

"It can't… you…" Lara's chest heaved up and down. The kiss had unsettled her deeply. It was too perfect, too 'what she had wished for', to be real. She screwed her eyes tight shut.

_This is _not _real. _Lara thought.

_It's my imagination playing games. Just a figment of my imagination._

"I'm waiting Lara." Alister said nonchalantly, as if waiting for an answer to a dinner invitation. She gulped.

"Lara…"

"No!" She screamed in chorus with another screech of thunder. She scrambled to her feet. She ran across the slippery grass and fled through the rusty, open gate. She leapt onto her motorbike, her heart in her mouth. She turned the ignition key and pressed the starter switch. The engine gave a cough but didn't start. She tried again. Again. Nothing. Lara swore under her breath.

"This isn't happening. This isn't…" She mumbled. Suddenly two cool hands held her face, gently but firmly. Alister (who looked decidedly uncomfortable as he straddled the front tyre of the motorbike) lifted her face and she had no choice but to meet his blue eyes with her own chocolate ones.

"Lara it's me… Alister." He insisted, almost desperately.

"No. You're dead!" Lara said again, even though she hardly believed it anymore herself.

"No, I'm not." A flash of lightning illuminated him and the sombre graveyard for just a moment.

"Yes you are."

_What a ridiculous argument! _Lara thought briefly, despite the creepy situation.

"No, I'm not."

"Ye…" Alister shushed her before she could reply. He sighed.

"So I'm dead?" He asked dejectedly. Lara nodded subduedly. Gently Alister placed her index and middle finger on his wrist.

"Then why can you feel my pulse?" Lara said nothing, but her eyes were as wide as saucers, like a trapped rabbit. She clutched his hand tightly, so tight, that her knuckles shone white. As white as the stars which were beginning to peek out of the navy blanket of the sky. She nodded slowly. Alister smiled, seeming satisfied.

"Go to the Tech Room." He said.

"I'll meet you there."

"What? How?" Lara asked incredulously, her old self returning.

"I just will." He replied saucily, a mysterious glint in his eye. The motorbike abruptly spluttered to life, and with a last glance at Alister, Lara drove away.

**What you think? Review please!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: This Chapter is where it gets interesting... I think XD Well, in my mind anyway! Enjoy! **

**OveractiveImaginer: Thanks for your really thoughtful reviews! They really keep me going! I'm glad you like the imagery!**

**NeoKyo2k3: Thank you! I'm really glad that my story makes you want to know what happens! **

**gyikhu: Thank you! I think atmosphere is really important, I'm glad you noticed it!**

**Thanks to all of you again! **

Chapter Three: Laughter in the Rain

Lara let go of the handlebars for a nanosecond to wipe angrily at her wet eyes. Whether they were wet because of rain or because of her tears she couldn't tell.

"This can't be…" She mumbled.

"But it is… He's… alive…" Saying those words, suddenly cemented something in Lara. A smile then lit up her features.

"He's alive. Alive. He's alive." She kept on saying those words, as if her will was keeping him alive and breathing. Keeping his heart beating. The lightning still flashed, illuminating Lara's euphoric face, leaving deep shadows above her eyes, like yawning caves. Suddenly, Lara let out a laugh. One of the laughs dripping with happiness and edged with insanity. One of the laughs that made the hair on the back of your neck stand on end. Again she laughed, her cackle blending with the thunders harsh screech.

The rain kept stinging Lara like myriads of needle pricks, but she still laughed as she raced down the winding road. Wind whipped back her hair, which had came loose of it pony-tail, like a dark brown cape. The rain came down heavier and heavier like the hooves of heaven's horses, plastering Lara's fringe to her forehead and pasting her black coat against her. With a fresh burst of laughter, Lara accelerated, and shot along the snake-like road.

Lara propped up her motorbike on it's stand and laughed maniacally as it fell anyway. She was drunk on a strong mixture of ecstasy and relief. She allowed herself to fall on the sodden grass, She swept her arms back and forth, as if making snow angels in a bank of snow, that only she could see. After a while of doing this, Lara got to her feet, and walked unsteadily to the door. The new mansion was almost the same as the old one, but with a few new rooms and some slight decorating changes. She opened it with a flourish. Winston, who was re-arranging some photographs on the mantelpiece, turned around with a smile, which vanished as soon as he saw Lara's state.

"My… M'lady, what have you been doing? You are drenched." He observed. Lara rolled her eyes.

_Captain obvious! _She thought to herself, but instead said

"I went to the graveyard." At that moment Zip came out of the Tech Room.

"Hi Lara, I was just…" He abruptly stopped and dropped the glass of lemonade he was holding. Winston mumbled something, and left the room.

"Lara? What the…" Lara spun around and interrupted him.

"Oh, Zip! Is Alister in the Tech Room?" She asked him, peering over his shoulder simultaneously. Zip looked at her, a decidedly confused look on his face.

"Alister?" He asked.

"Yes, Alister. Are you going deaf or something?" Lara said impatiently.

"Are you… joking?" Lara looked at him incredulously, but then smiled.

"Oh, I see. You just haven't seen him yet! I bet he's hiding from you!" Lara then walked past Zip and went into the Tech Room. She looked around.

"He's not here." She mumbled. She was beginning to worry she had imagined it all when she saw a note. She picked it up and read it.

'Dear Lara,

Go to the swimming pool.'

"Ah! He's in the swimming pool!" Lara exclaimed, turning to Zip and waving the note at him. Zip looked at her in reality _empty _hand.

"Um, Lara there's nothing there!" He said, panic spreading it's black roots in his heart like a suffocating weed. Lara made a 'pfft' sound in reply, and waved Zip away, as she walked towards the door to the pool.

"Alister's dead!" Zip blinked back tears. Saying those words still brought a lump to his throat. Lara paused at the pool door, before snorting and making her way down the stone flagged corridor.

"Oh, this is _very _bad…" mumbled Zip, whilst tapping a number into his mobile. He made sure Lara was out of earshot.

"Hello, Doctor Greenwood? Um, I think I need your help…"

**Review please! **

**Oh, by the way, I have made a TR RPG that no-one has joined yet. Please join! Pretty please? There will be cookies! *waves a cookie* **


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Here-eth be-eth Chapter-eth Four...eth! XD I had coke, ok? XD Enjoy!**

Chapter Four: Fancy a Swim?

Lara strode into the pool room and stood by it's edge with her hands on her hips. Her sodden coat was hugging her tightly. She frowned and looked around. Without warning, two arms snaked around her waist.

"Hello Lara." Alister whispered into her ear. She smiled and closed her eyes.

"Alister." She said.

"You're not surprised?" he asked.

"Not in the least." And indeed, she wasn't. As far as she knew, her love had came back from the dead. What could surprise her now?

Zip hung up the phone. The Doctor had said he would be there as soon as possible. Winston meanwhile had picked up the shards of glass that had flew across the stone floor when Zip had dropped his glass of lemonade, and was now standing by the fire, looking into it with worried eyes, as if the answers to all the questions ever asked were in there, just waiting to be found. Zip went over to him, and gave him a friendly punch on the shoulder.

"She'll be fine." He assured the elderly man.

"She's tough." Zip couldn't help feeling he was assuring himself more than the old butler, who Zip knew had been with the Croft family for decades and viewed Lara, almost as a daughter. Even Zip, one of Lara's closest friends, couldn't imagine what Winston was feeling as he saw the mighty Lara crumble, like the beautiful ruins that she loved so much.

"Can you keep an ear out for the Doctor pal?" Zip asked him. Winston nodded, still gazing into the flames which were still dancing like an Indian dancer, dressed in burgundy and orange silks.

Lara smiled. She felt so free. After a while the silence unnerved her… it was too much like he wasn't there.

"Alister? Why'd you…" She was interrupted as Alister heaved her into the swimming pool. Lara let out a slight squeal as she fell into the tepid water. Soon after she went under, she burst back through the pool's surface, gasping for air.

"Lara?" She looked up to see Zip at the door staring at her.

Zip, after a few moments of debating whether it was a good idea or not, entered the pool room, and was met by a sight he didn't expect to see. Lara was in the pool gasping for air.

"Lara?" She looked up at him, looking slightly embarrassed and then swam over to the edge of the pool.

"What the…" Zip began.

"It was Alister." Lara explained. Zip gave her a funny look. Lara rolled her eyes.

"He threw me in!" She explained, gesturing exasperatedly.

"Lara…"

"Just…. Get me some clothes." She interrupted him, not wanting to hear what she knew he was going to say. Zip gave her one last despairing look, and left the room closing the door behind him.

Lara pressed her hand to her forehead; she then spied another note on the floor. She bent down and read it.

'Dear Lara,

Angry? I thought it was time for some payback.' A smile tugged at Lara's mouth as she remembered when she had pushed Alister in and then burst out laughing amidst burst of language as colourful as a painter's palette. Lara continued reading the note.

'You'll find me in the library.' Lara sighed and pocketed the note.

"Hide and seek…" She mumbled.

Zip looked through the pool door's keyhole as soon as he left the room. He felt his heart sink even further, until it was in his shoes, as he watched Lara bend down and reach for what could only be another 'note'.

_When's that Doctor gonna get here anyway? _Zip thought, with one last despairing glance at Lara before he went to get her clothes.

**Review? Please? *puppy dog eyes***


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Mwahaha! And you guys thought I'd forgotten XD So anyway, before you take out your torches and pitchforks (On second thoughts, you probably don't like the story **_**that **_**much ;D ), I would like to explain. Long story short I had no way of updating and I was suffering from a spell of Writers Block :( So anyway, I apologise for whatever this story is lacking. I don't know what it is… the other chapters just seemed much more… muchier…. O_o I might get a few more chapters up tonight, but otherwise, I can't predict when the updates will be as I'm using a friend's computer right now. Sorry!**

**Message to littlelemon: You should be able to review now ;)**

**ExtremeRainbowRaiderPrincess: Thank you for your lovely reviews! They help me to keep going!**

**gyikhu: There you go ;D**

**isaalacrymosaa: Thanks for your review!**

**Oh! And please take a look at my TR one-shot: Ten Seconds. It (obviously) features our favourite heroine (Cocaine! XD Sorry, sorry! That was just irresistible), Lara Croft. It is post-Underworld. Please read it and REVIEW! **

**Enjoy!**

Chapter Five: The Library

Lara was now changed into the new, significantly drier clothes that Zip had fetched for her. They smelt of a light, flowery fragrance, and were soft and almost feathery to the touch. She danced up the stairs to the library two at a time and the loose, white clothes billowed slightly with her movement like the sails of a ship, sailing under a fresh sky, donned with pink clouds, sailing over calm waters to exotic and exciting places, that previously had been unbeknownst to mankind.

Lara reached out her hand and touched the smooth wood of the door. She ran her fingers along the grain lightly, making her skin tingle. She had personally made sure that the library was unchanged, in memory of Alister, and all that had been salvaged from the library of the now non-existent mansion lay in boxes inside the sacred room, gathering layer upon layer of dust like relics from a tomb. Lara hadn't been able to muster the courage to go in, for if there was anything Lara was scared of, it was death and memories. Savage animals boasting gleaming white teeth and claws she could handle. Mercenaries wielding tommy guns and sniper rifles she could handle. Booby traps, be they of ancient ingenuity or modern technology she could handle. Dragons, thralls, the weapons of mighty gods and the all-powerful gods themselves evoked no fear in her. But death did. Death came silent, on the feet of a black cat. It came invisible, like Perseus with the helmet from the gods that granted him invisibility. It came disguised, as illness, as famine, as war, as revenge, as acts of 'justification'. There was nothing you could do to stop it. Nothing to prepare yourself for the pain, and that was what scared Lara. There were ways to defeat anything else. Dangerous, risky ways yes, but ways nonetheless. Death was undefeatable, to mere mortals at least, as were memories. All her life Lara had wholly believed that memories held powers which were incomprehensible to humans. Memories could leave the strongest man with the most iron will quaking in fear. They came back to haunt you, and no armour any amount of money could buy could protect you from them.

Lara swallowed and closed her eyes for a moment silently preparing herself as well as she could before entering the library. Eventually, she snapped her eyes open, and with a last deep inhale of breath, she pressed down on the doorknob and entered the room. The door opened silently, and Lara made almost no sound as she entered the room. She exhaled silently and stood rooted to the spot staring at Alister, who sat in behind the mahogany desk at the end of the room in a leather swivel chair, nose deep in a book. Lara gave a smirk, as a childish urge to slam the book on his nose passed through her mind. He closed the book, sending up a cloud of dust, and paused a moment before running his forefinger over the desk. He examined the dust on his finger before speaking to Lara. She jumped as he addressed her. She had not known he was aware of her presence.

"I must complain to your maid Lara." She smiled.

"Now, now Alister. That is a bit harsh, don't you think?"

"No!" Exclaimed Alister, in a tone of mock horror, sharply turning his head to look at her.

"Cleanliness is next…." He began.

"… To godliness and all that rot, yes I know." Lara said laughing. Alister gave her a strange smile, not an unpleasant one, just a strange one. Lara didn't say anything for a while. She was too busy basking in the delight of being with her love once more. She felt as if she was bathing in the light of a golden, mid-afternoon sun. After a while she walked, catlike, to the desk and sat upon it lightly.

"Alister," She began.

"I'm curious…"

"I know you are." He interrupted her. It took Lara only a fraction of a second to catch him meaning. She tutted him, but continued.

"Why send me to three places?" She looked at him inquiringly.

"You know how I love hide and seek. On that note…." He leaned forward, until their noses almost touched. Lara shivering in anticipation and she closed her eyes as he leaned forward. A smile graced her lips as his warm breath tickled her ear.

"Time for the next round." Her eyes snapped open and she made a face. That was _not _what she had been expecting! He pulled back from her and she gave him a look, planting her hands on her hips. He then leant forward again, and kissed her this time. Her skin tingled, and her senses were revitalized. She closed her eyes as electric sparks flowed through her body. She was so busy reveling in this glorious sensation, she barely realized that he had pulled away, and was only just aware of his next words:

"Didn't want to disappoint you." And with that, he was gone.

Zip meanwhile was watching the goings on in the library with growing anxiousness. Man was that Doctor taking his sweet time. He frowned, deep in thought. Had Lara… lost it? Lara who never lost her cool. Lara who was always in control. Was she… going mad? He jumped as a loud exasperated sigh came from Lara. He panicked as she scrambled to her feet tiredly. He quickly turned and scurried away. Where on earth was that doctor anyway?

**So guys this is just another quick AN. I just wanted to ask how long you want this story to be, as I haven't really got a plan. I'm just writing as it comes to me.**

**Also, for any people who are reading this story but aren't members and who wanted to review, but FF wouldn't let them, I thought I'd better tell you that I've enabled anonymous reviews, so feel free to tell me what you think ^_^ Hint, hint guys XD **

**Review please! I've got more cookies *waves a cookie***

**Also, even though I do not own Tomb Raider or any said characters, for paranoia reasons:**

**© LiveLongLoveLife-xDataRulezx 2010**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Here's another! Aren't I good to you guys? This is not a romance chapter… as one part might suggest it is. So don't switch over to YouTube thinking: 'Oh it's one of **_**them **_**stories!' XD But seriously….**

**Also, take a look at my Tomb Raider one-shot, Ten Seconds and leave me a review… please? Reviews make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside :) And there's cookies for you guys as well!**

Chapter Six: Déjà Vu

Lara sighed out of great frustration, and stood up, holding a note in her hand. She skimmed her eyes over the hastily scrawled writing. If she had been looking close enough, maybe she would have noticed the little differences in the writing. Maybe she would notice that this seemed to have been written by another hand, belonging to a perhaps slightly less friendly person. And perhaps, just perhaps, she would have noticed that it didn't start with the same 'Dear Lara', or that none of Alister's ever present sarcasm was evident in the small written message.

'I know it's late, but I have a surprise for you birthday. You'll find it in your bedroom.' Lara snorted. A surprise. From Lara's experience, she knew that surprises were either really good things, or terribly bad things. She growled and pushed that thought out of her mind. She brushed off the dust that had attached itself to her trousers when she had sat on the filthy desk. She turned towards the door and began to walk towards it. She reached it and placed her hand on the doorknob but then paused and let her slender hand rest there before turning her head around and gazing round the room. It was one of the most beautiful things she had ever witnessed, to her confused mind, with dust motes floating in the air, illuminated by the light coming from the elaborate chandelier above her. Stars winked at her through the window and illuminated the grounds below. Tears pricked at her eyes, and with a shake of her head to dismiss her cloyingly sentimental thoughts, Lara left the room.

Lara walked along the landing, brushing her hand across the mahogany banister. Warmth from the fire that was whispering below reached her, covering her in a warm, cosy, soft duvet of familiarity, comfort and the feeling of belonging; Belonging which is only present in the walls of one's home. She shivered. That familiarity had been invaded. She could sense it. She looked down into the lounge where Zip and Winston stood talking to a man. A man who Lara recognised as her Doctor. He was a balding man, the hair he had left a dull mouse brown. He was bespectacled and was rather short. He was a kind man with a soft voice and a gentle way about him, with a hatred for injustice. Lara realized then why he had been called. They thought she was mad. Mad as a March hare! No, _madder _than the March hare! She would show them! They would learn to trust her. He turned around the sharp corner of the landing and aimed to go past the stairs which led down to the lounge.

"Lara!" She winced and sighed at the sound of Zip's voice. She then turned towards the three men, putting on her best air of joviality. She beamed.

"Doctor! What brings you by at this time of night?" The Doctor glanced at Zip and Winston.

"I, er, came to check if that chest infection of yours was any better." Lara smiled.

_Came to check if my chest infection was any better_, my foot_! _Lara thought. Instead, she replied:

"I'm feeling much better thank you. But if you'll excuse me, I have something rather important to do." Without waiting for a reply, Lara hurriedly passed the stairs, turned another sharp corner and briskly opened the door to her bedroom with one fluid movement, and stepped inside. She leaned against the door and sighed, before muttering defiantly,

"I'll show them!"

Lara entered her room hesitantly, slightly afraid as to what she might find. Surprises were _not _something she was terribly fond of. She entered the room and screamed in horror. Alister's eyes, which had once sparkled so merrily, were now dull, and stared into Lara's, eerily. His mouth was agape and his head was lolled back. Blood trickled from his mouth, down his chin, and finally staining his collar. He was a deathly white and when Lara went to grasp his hand in her own, it was as cold as marble. Once again, a red flower had burst through the snow and Lara couldn't remember seeing an uglier flower. Something in Lara made her reach out and touch the red stain on Alister's shirt. It was sodden with blood. Lara threw herself onto the arm of the chair, and allowed her tears to fall freely.

Lara wailed and moaned and moaned and wailed. She felt her heart rip in two. It was an almost palpable pain in her chest. She gasped and held her hands to her chest, almost expecting to feel warm, sticky blood covering her fingers. She thrust her hands into Alister's sopping shirt and cried into it, blood mingling with tears. She wasn't aware of anything. Anything but the pain, the anguish, the hate and the overwhelming want, no, _need _for revenge.

"Lara!" A snake-like voice cut through Lara's distress like a blunt knife. Lara whipped her head up. Her eyes widened in shock and in a voice seeping with hatred, she squeezed out between clenched teeth:

"You."

**Like? Hate? Got any theories as to 'you' might be? I'd especially appreciate any tips for angsty scenes, as I have a few more, but struggle to convey what I **_**want **_**to convey. My muses don't help me with that XD**

**Review guys!**

**Also, even though I do not own Tomb Raider or any said characters, for paranoia reasons:**

**© LiveLongLoveLife-xDataRulezx 2010**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: I'm good to you peeps out there LOL XD You have to admit it! So this chapter is a chapter mainly about Winston and Zip and their thoughts… well, all about Winston, Zip and their thoughts actually. This is because I want to really work on my kind of 'central' chapter, and also because I'm hungry and feed on reviews! They are my bran flakes! So… anyway, I might do a teeny little chappie just to fulfill my promise to littlelemon (*whispers* See? I **_**do **_**remember stuff. I mean, give me props! I finally bought a calculator! YAYNESS) *sigh* It depends how brainwashed I am :P **

**Also (if you haven't already :P), please take a look at my Tomb Raider one-shot, Ten Seconds, and leave review. Please? You'll make me really happy? **

**Anyway, enough of my babbling! Enjoy! **

Chapter Seven: Lost

Winston shook his head sadly as he gazed into the fire. What was happening to Lara? To _his _Lara? That was how he viewed her: his. The bond they had far surpassed the employee/employer relationship. It was like father and daughter. Lara was one of the few people Winston would die for. He would give anything to know she was safe, and it hurt him, more than anyone could imagine, that she was injured now.

He had known before anyone something was wrong with Lara. She had spent all her time in her study, doing research on some sort of Greek artifact she was bent on finding. She immersed herself in her work, and even agreed to make an appearance at Cambridge, where she gave a detailed lecture on Norse mythology. Anyone who had seen her lecture but did not know her as well as Winston or Zip, would assume she loved those sort of occasions, or at least, was used to them, but it was not hard for the butler, or the techie to realize how she loathed it. Lara was by nature an introvert. An appearance from her was rare for that reason. Winston had tried talking to Lara, to destroy the fortress that had came up around her after her adventures in the underworld, but she waved him away, with a smile and an assurance she was fine.

After weeks of persuasion, Winston had finally been able to get Lara to take a few weeks away from work, but she refused to leave her newly built home, and from there she shot right out of denial to delusion. Winston winced, as a part of him that he had tried so hard to push away, to silence piped up.

_Maybe it was _your _fault. Maybe if you had just let her be, she would have found her way out of her denial by herself, without ending up in the state she is now. _Winston hurriedly hushed the voice and sat down on the white, leather settee. He buried his head in his hands and wept silently, for his 'daughter' was lost in a maze of madness, and there was no way of knowing if she could find her way out.

Hurriedly, Zip hurried back from the library to the Tech Room. He sighed and turned on his computer. He read the Post-it Lara had scrawled on. She had underlined it thickly several times, so Zip assumed it was urgent.

'Medusa. Perseus.' Zip hummed, and typed on his keypad, his fingers flowing over it. He loved his computer. He loved the sense of familiarity it gave him. He smiled as he remembered fondly the hour he spent on it, teasing Alister, who was usually sitting beside him, reading a book. Zip's breath suddenly caught in his throat at the all too vivid memory. His fingers hesitated on the keys, before stopping and leaving his hands hovering over the keys. He felt white hot tears burn in his eyes, but he defiantly blinked them back. He took a deep breath. He couldn't believe what was happening. It was like a waking nightmare. It couldn't be happening. Not to Lara. This type of thing never happened to her.

Zip growled and banged his head on the table.

"Ow…." He groaned.

"Bad plan." He clutched his head. If he wasn't careful, he'd get a migraine, not that he cared at that moment. He was too angry to care about himself at that moment. He was angry with himself, for letting Alister die. He was angry with himself to let Lara sink so low. A very small part of him was even angry for Lara with slipping and an even smaller part was angry at Alister for dying. But most of all, he was angry because he couldn't do anything about it. He was helpless. Lara was lost, and he couldn't help her, because he was lost too.

Suddenly, the doorbell rang, and Zip stood up abruptly, knocking his lukewarm cocoa all over his designer jeans.

"Ach!" He exclaimed loudly.

"You little…"

"Mister Zip?" Winston was standing in the door of the tech room, looking enquiringly at him.

"I'm fine." Zip said, his smile turning into more of a grimace than anything. Winston nodded and then left the doorway to answer the door. Zip followed him.

"Ah. Doctor." Winston extended his hand to the kindly man.

"Winston." The Doctor replied shaking his hand warmly. He gave Zip a smile, kindly choosing not to comment on the stain on Zips jeans.

"What is the problem?" He asked, wiping his glasses on his jacket. His eyes were small and grey, and reminded Zip of a bird's. Indeed, he was a lot like a bird in appearance: small, with bright inquisitive eyes. Winston stood aside to allow the man to enter the lounge.

"Please come in out of the cold first, sir." He said kindly. Doctor Greenwood smiled, and did so, and was soon standing in the warmth of the fire. Winston then told him the problem, in a low, grave whisper, incase Lara happened to be in earshot.

"We believe Lara is hallucinating. You recall her close friend died not too long ago?" The younger man nodded.

"Of course. She was quite distraught about it if I remember correctly." Winston nodded solemnly.

"Well, she claims he is alive and has been hunting for him around the house." Zip chirped in.

"Yea. She even said he left notes." He shivered.

"It's been a bit… creepy." The Doctor nodded.

"I see. May I see her?" Zip then spotted her, tiptoeing across the landing, attempting to go by unnoticed.

"Lara!" He saw her grimace and winced himself. She turned towards the three of them, and smiled her best smile.

"Doctor!" She exclaimed.

"What brings you here this time of night?" Zip drew his mouth into a straight line, and looked at the Doctor out of the corner of his eye.

"I, er, came to check if that chest infection of yours was any better." The Doctor said nervously. He was a terrible liar. Lara smiled sweetly and deceptively.

"I'm feeling much better thank you. But if you'll excuse me, I have something rather important to do." And with that, Lara sped off, before any of the three men could say anything else. Zip closed his eyes and sighed in unison with the sound of a slamming door. That sound seemed to cast an air of gloom and finality over the room. The silence was complete. Zip could almost feel it, smooth and cool against his skin, like a mirror. Suddenly, a shrill, horrified scream echoed through the manor, cracking the mirror. Winston turned as white as chalk and mumbled,

"Oh my."

The Doctor jolted out of his skin, whereas Zip, fearless and unflappable to the end, exclaimed:

"What the hell was that?" But he knew. It was poor, lost Lara, screaming for help, hoping someone would hear her scream, and would find her.

**Review? Please? Cookies! If you can't beat them, bribe them XD**

**Also, even though I do not own Tomb Raider or any said characters, for paranoia reasons:**

**© LiveLongLoveLife-xDataRulezx 2010**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Yes guys you are being SPOILED XD But don't get used to it. Sadly, this is the last chappie I'll be able to post today. It's tiny, but it's a chapter! There's a character in here that some of you guys won't be familiar with. This chapter doesn't give you her history only because I don't know it and I'm too lazy to look it up XD By the way, I've only played Underworld once, so if I get the description of 'The Character' a bit wrong, please forgive me. **

**Also (for those of you have read my one-shot, or this request before and are getting tired of it, just scroll on down XD), it would really make my day if you read my TR one-shot and left a review… please?**

**Enjoy!**

Chapter Eight: Waiting is The Hardest Part

"You!" Lara grounded out between clenched teeth, looking at the woman before her with a mixture of anger and incredulity. The woman had ivory white skin and eerie amber eyes that reminded Lara of two, golden full-moons. Her hair was red and her limbs were long and lean. If her skin was lightly tanned, her eyes chocolate and her hair auburn, she would be an exact replica, of Lady Lara Croft. It was Doppelgänger.

Doppelgänger had came to live with Lara once her old master, Natla, had died, having no place to go. Lara had taken pity on her and took her, despite everyone and almost every sense in her telling her it was a mistake. When she had told Zip, he hadn't taken the news well, but then, Alister _had _been his best friend, and Doppelgänger or 'Doppie' as they called her, _was _Alister's murderer. However, some part of Lara, the part that looked out for others and that kept an eye on her ethics told her Doppelgänger needed a home, needed a master. It told her that Doppelgänger couldn't survive without either of those things. Doppelgänger was cold and a murderer, but all in all, she was timid and vulnerable without direction, like a fierce Alsatian.

"You!" Lara was screaming now, just allowing herself to be devoured by her anger and remorse.

"Lara?" Doppelgänger said uncertainly. Her voice reminded Lara of a snake, slithering and sinuous, yet at the same time, it was slightly jerky and robotic. Lara stared into Doppelgänger's eyes with a cold, unforgiving glare. Apart from the contrasting shades of Lara and Doppelgänger's eyes, they were different in another way. Lara's were calculating, intelligent, and at times, even cold. Doppelgänger's were mocking and almost filled with wonder. They were intelligent too, but in a different way to Lara's. Lara's intelligence was built upon education as well as instinct, Doppelgänger's, on instinct alone. In so many ways she was like a dog. Fierce and strong, yet domesticated and obedient like an Alsatian, and wild, with good instinct and dangerous efficiency, like a wolf.

"Why did you do it?" Lara screamed, before wiping her spittle off her chin with the sleeve of her T-shirt.

"What?" Doppelgänger asked, confused and a little frightened, at seeing the usually so calm and collected Lara in such a passionate state. Indeed, Lara hadn't even been this emotional when she had seen her mother, transformed into a part-human part-corpse thrall in the Underworld… or perhaps she had, but suppressed it, hiding it with a cool glare and with the smoke from her pistols. Lara lunged forward then, grabbing Doppelgänger by the collar.

"You know what." She spat out.

"Why did you kill him? Why?" Doppelgänger said nothing, but looked at Lara with wide, frightened eyes, like a trapped rabbit, or a deer, transfixed with the beam of light from the headlights of a car.

"Well? Answer me scum. Why…" Before she could continue, a hand came from behind her back and injected her with a needle. Her grip weakened, her eyes rolled heavenwards and she swayed before falling to the ground with a groan.

Doppelgänger looked at the faces of the three men, who had managed to enter the room unnoticed in all the commotion. Zip, his face grim as he looked down at Lara, Winston his face sad and wistful, as he looked out of the window and the Doctor, his face calm and detached as he replaced his needle in his medical case. He looked at Zip.

"Can you help me get her into bed?" Zip nodded and picked Lara up, seemingly effortlessly. He took her over to her four-poster bed and placed her in it, covering her with the duvet carefully, as gently as Lara would handle one of her precious artifacts. The Doctor turned to Winston.

"I would like to stay the night, if it suits you. I do not know what state she will be in when she wakes up." Winston nodded.

"I will ready the spare bedroom." He then abruptly turned and left, and there was no doubt in Zip's mind, that he would be weeping silently outside the door. Zip mumbled something about checking on him, and left the room. The Doctor then noticed Doppelgänger.

"You have a startling likeness to Miss Croft." He mumbled.

"In fact, you are identical. She never mentioned she had a twin. I will have to have a word with her about that." Doppelgänger said nothing, but smiled. She briefly considered telling him about her _true _past, but a rather amusing picture of the Doctor's face which flashed briefly in her mind's eye, made her reject that idea at once.

"You are rather pale. Perhaps you should go and lie down?" He suggested kindly. Again Doppelgänger said nothing, but smiled and left the room. Zip and Winston had disappeared. She walked down the stairs dejectedly with her shoulders hunched. She made her way over to the settee and curled up in a ball on it, allowing the gentle heat from the rustling flames to send her to sleep.

Meanwhile, Zip and Winston where in the spare bedroom. They had made the bed in record time, and now sat on the edge of it, gazing into the fire they had lit. Winston's eyes were slightly bloodshot from tears and from worry, and were far away and melancholy.

"She'll pull through." Zip said in a low voice. Winston looked at him.

"You think so, sir?"

"Yea, I mean it's Lara." He tried his best at a smile, but the gravity of their situation, just seemed to pull the corners of his mouth down. Winston still was looking at him, like a stray dog with nowhere to go and no hope to cling to. Like a climber, who knows that the rocks he is clinging onto, are going to come loose at any moment but has resigned himself to his fate. Zip shrugged sadly.

"I dunno bud. I dunno." He said sadly.

"I just don't know. We just have to wait and see." Winston nodded and looked back into the glowing embers of the fire. Still without looking at Zip, he replied:

"Yes. But waiting is the hardest part."

**Hey guys! It's not the end yet. No, no. For in her therapy, you may find that other complications arise *evil laugh* So again, how long do you want this thing to be, because it's not set in stone. **

**And lastly REVIEW XD**

**Also, even though I do not own Tomb Raider or any said characters, for paranoia reasons:**

**© LiveLongLoveLife-xDataRulezx 2010**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Yea… my last chappie was a little longer than intended *mumble grumble* Anyway! Moving (swiftly) on, here is the next one *claps excitedly* *silence* *cricket chirps* Ahem. **

**IMPORTANT, PLEASE READ: Keep your eyes pierced for my new TR fanfic, He's Just a Friend, which is about Lara gradually falling for Alister… aw, how sweet! I promise it will be a good deal lighter than this fanfic XD Thank you gyikhu for giving me incentive to write He's Just a Friend. I wouldn't have had the idea without you :) **

**Also! If you haven't already, please R&R my TR one-shot, Ten Seconds, and PM me what you think would be the best ending.**

**isaalacrymosa: I'm glad you liked how I describe the situation and that you think it's dramatic :) Enjoy this chappie!**

**littlelemon: I dunno, that's why I asked XD Thank you (Yea but it's always nice to hear it more than once :P)! XD I dunno… they just kind of come when I'm reading National Treasure angst XP (*whispers back* Yes I have as you know… ;) ) If you read, you get a cookie! If you review, you get another cookie! Make sense now? Enjoy!**

**NeoKyo2k3: It might… but who knows ;)? XD I couldn't resist 'Doppie'. Thank you! XD At least you gave an honest answer ;) Thank you for all your other reviews! You're AWESOME!**

**gyikhu: I'm glad you like it! Theories… XD I love that word…. Enjoy!**

**So guys, enjoy! Sparkle, sparkle!**

Chapter Nine: Cotton Wool and Fog

Lara's eyes cracked open, and she squinted as bright light sliced through the stuffy air and onto her face, like a blunt knife. Lara groaned and rubbed her eyes. She didn't like getting drugged, whether it was mild anesthetic or some other drug that was decidedly _less _mild. Her head felt as if it was clouded over, or packed with cotton wool. A thick fog covered it, a fog as thick as pea soup.

_And as thick as the air in this ridiculous oven! _Lara thought angrily.

_Who the hell closed the window? _She attempted to leap out of bed, but a wave of nausea and a brief spell of dizziness forced her to plunk herself back onto her bed. She sighed exasperatedly, and eased herself gently into a sitting position. Her limbs felt wooden and her head felt so heavy, she only wanted to lay it down again. She slowly stood to her feet, supporting herself on the headboard and her bedside cabinet. She walked around so she had her back to the headboard and was looking out of the window in front of her, which overlooked rolling, green field and copses where the leaves had long fell, creating a crispy carpet of skeletal foliage. Lara leaned forward, and weakly attempted to twist the handle so that the window was open. Eventually, it did so, with a popping noise, and Lara gasped as the bitter, crisp morning air fanned her face. She returned to her bed with a sigh of contentment.

Lara frowned deep in thought, as she rubbed the frilled edge of her duvet. She tried to collect her thoughts.

"Well let's see…" She murmured to herself.

"I was injected. I remember that. In the neck I presume, it feels a little stiff." She rubbed her neck instinctively.

"Before that, I was holding something... no… no, some_one_. And I was shouting at them. What was I shouting? I was asking them something… what was it?" Her brows knit even closer together, like a fearsome storm above a raging sea, her eyes like two boats filled with terrified sailors.

"I was asking them why they did something. What? And who was I asking? It was a woman. The same height as me… the same build. Oh for heaven's sake…" She rubbed her forehead to clear her thoughts. It was then she glimpsed a picture in a polished, metal photo frame. It was a picture of her… and Doppelgänger. Lara's eyes widened, until they were like two, white saucers.

"It was Doppelgänger I was shouting at… and I was shouting because she killed Alister…" Lara broke off as all her 'experiences' with 'Alister' over the past… however many hours came flooding back to her. The kiss in the graveyard, her little dip in the swimming pool… but most vividly of all she remembered the dull eyes. The lolling tongue and the bloom of blood. Lara gasped as the scarlet blossom appeared before her eyes once more, so real, so clear she almost felt as if she could reach out and touch the sopping wet shirt one last time. Indeed, she reached out a pale, frail, trembling hand and gasped as her hand touched not wet fabric, but nothingness. She clasped her hands to her mouth, and sobbed silently, and, like she had in the graveyard, she snapped like a taut elastic band. She curled up in a tight ball, and pounded her fists against the mattress. Suddenly, a heart wrenching sob burst from her mouth. And another, and another, as her body shook with sorrow and agony, as mourning sliced cuts after cut into her heart with an icy cold knife.

Alister had been snatched from Lara again, though now, it was much, _much _worse. When Alister had died for real, for Lara it had seemed as if she were walking through a nightmare. It wasn't real to her. It had never happened. Then she had begun to realise he was gone, and her mind decided to concoct a surreal fantasy built to Lara's specifications, where everything was fixed and their relationship was how it _should_ have been… but of course, that could only last for so long. It was now over. And it was time to finally, fully acknowledge Alister's death. Abruptly, Lara ceased crying, and instead screamed into the pillow. Suddenly there was a loud knocking on Lara's door. Lara sat up and dabbed at her eyes with the corner of her duvet.

"Come!" She called, and upon seeing the visitor, wished she hadn't.

"Doppelgänger." Lara said, with a curt nod at the guest. Doppelgänger winced. Lara using her full name was never a good sign. It was either Doppie, or if Doppelgänger had done something less than clever, Dopey.

"I heard you scream." Doppelgänger said mechanically.

"I came to check if you are alright." Lara's eyes lowered, and fixed themselves on Doppelgänger's slippers.

"I couldn't say that I am." Lara replied emotionlessly. She looked up at Doppelgänger after a moment.

"Still here?" She inquired coldly. The expression in Doppelgänger's face plainly said she was hurt.. Lara felt a pang of guilt, which she quickly buried. Doppelgänger shut her agape mouth and the muscles in her jaw tightened. She scrutinized Lara for a moment, and then hurried out the room.

**So? XD You guys know the drill! Review!**

**Oh! And if you like Inkheart, please, please, PLEASE visit my Inkheart RPG website: . **

**It's still in progress, and I hope to expand it a great deal more. Unfortunately, there is no way I can do this at home, so you guys will have to be patient XP So yea, please join my magical, wonderful, perfect corner of the webs where everything is made of marshmallows, sprinkle, and SPARKLES! Sparkle, sparkle! Ooohhh… sparkle….**

**Oh one more thing, would you guys be mad if I made Lara self-harm? Or do you think that is TOO OOC? Because it is up to YOU *Uncle Sam point* My faithful readers! XD Thanks!**

**Also, even though I do not own Tomb Raider or any said characters, for paranoia reasons:**

**© LiveLongLoveLife-xDataRulezx 2010**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: And here's the next chapter ^_^ I really love writing this you know! Now, a big thank you to, drum roll please *drum roll*:**

**gyikhu: XD Yep! And here's another (though again, not much happens, this is more a chapter where you see things from Doppie's point of view, as we've seen what everyone thinks except her. More should happen in the next chapter)! Thank you ^_^ Maybe…. But then again… maybe not. XD. Yea I see what you mean **

**Also guys, I would love it if you would check out '****Just Friends'****, my latest TR fanfic which is set before this story and is considerably lighter and funnier than any of my other TR FFs. **

**Also, I still don't have anywhere **_**near **_**enough endings for my TR one-shot ****'Ten Seconds'**** to crown the winner of the 'Most Satisfactory Ending Writer' Award… lame name I know XD**

**Also, if you like King Kong, Star Trek: The Next Generation or Inkheart, please take a look at my other FFs. For the King Kong fans, I would LOVE it if you joined my forum :) That would be AWESOME!**

**The last chapter saw Lara becoming lucid, or so we believe… but is everything as hunky-dory as it seems? You'll just have to hang around and see ;)**

**Disclaimer: Alas, no, I do not own Tomb Raider. If I did, I'd be a millionaire… and… well… I'm not XD**

Chapter Ten: 'I had no choice'

Gritting her teeth, the lean, darkly clad figure raised the pistol she held in her hand.

_It's not fair. _She thought narrowing her eyes and staring at the metal, which held some metallic beauty as the watery morning sunlight frolicked upon it inappropriately merrily, shining in her eyes, leaving her with dancing spots of different colours marring her vision.

_It never will be fair. Does she have any idea how I feel? How she's _made _me feel? _The woman shifted her grip on the pistol which was slick with her sweat. Sweat that certainly wasn't caused by heat on that bitterly cold morning. She checked one last time that the muzzle of the gun was pointing at the exact point she wanted to hit. Then, finally, with a roar of anguish and of anger, she gently squeezed the trigger.

_Bang. _

Winston knelt down by the dying fire, and poked one of the smoldering logs with a long, ornate metal poker. This action set sparks flying and the fire slowly began to become lively once more. Winston gave a small, sad smile. He hoped that bringing Lara to life would be that simple. That if they goaded her with a new, ancient relic she'd be as good as new.

The old man straightened up and passed a hand over his tired face. His eyes felt as they were being held down by weights. Sleep had become a chore lately, what with Lara's… challenging behavior. Even before she had gone 'mad', she had been irritable and depressed and tired. It seemed that a cloud of gloom hung over her head like a curse… and not only did it weigh her down, but those around her also.

Several times Zip, with his short temper and sensitive nature, had had an argument with Lara and had threatened to leave, and it had been up to Winston to keep everyone together…. To keep everyone as calm as possible in those tough times. He had been there for Lara to listen to her heart wrenching words that poured from her lips and to assure her that it wasn't her fault Alister died. He had been there to listen to Zip's worries about Lara. He had been there to assure Doppelgänger that the past was the past, and couldn't be changed and that the blame for Alister's death could hardly have been put on her in the first place. He had been there for them all… and it had been tough. He felt responsible for them all, it was as if he was mothering them… and he knew that somehow this situation needed to be fixed, for his sake, for Lara's sake, for _everyone's _sake. It…

_Bang. _Winston's head snapped towards the front door in an instant, the sudden noise breaking his from his thoughts. He gasped, as he wondered if his worst nightmare had been realised…

Doppelgänger brought up the second pistol automatically and shot the next target which sprang up from the ground on a metal bar. It was a crude targeting practice system… but it worked. The bullet shot from the gun, sliced through the bitter winter air like a knife through butter, and embedded itself in the wooden target with a thud. Almost immediately five more targets shot up from the ground.

_Bang, bang, bang. Bang, bang. _Again, the bullets hit the exact middle of each and every one of the targets. More sprung up and she shot them all with frightening precision. And with each shot, she roared the words her heart had held inside for far too long.

"It's not my fault!" She screamed, ignorant of the fact that Zip was probably still in bed.

"Why can't you forgive me? I didn't have a choice!" She gritted her teeth and fired round after round still screaming hysterically, fueling each shot with her anger. Everything became a blur, as each word was roared and as each bullet hit the targets with deadly accuracy.

Winston ran across the hall, his slippers making a shuffling sound against the stone flagged floor. He unlocked the door and ran out to the lawn, ignoring the fact that the frost was soaking his feet and needless to say, chilling them as if his feet were stuck in a bucket of ice. He could hear his feeble old heart pounding in his chest and the blood rushing round his head. Both sounds seemed louder than the explosions of myriads of grenades and blocked out all other sounds. He then came across the familiar training grounds, where towers coated with climbing walls loomed into the sky. He breathed a sigh of relief as he saw the source of the gun shots. Doppelgänger was training. His expression of horror and shock melted away, and was soon replaced with warm concern as he heard Doppelgänger's words. He sighed.

A pang of sorrow hit Winston's old heart. He loved Doppelgänger, not as much as Lara, but he loved her nonetheless. Her naïve, curious nature. Her frankness. The way her eyes lit up at the most simple gift. Of course he knew she had a dark side as well. A ruthless side. A side that had been brought up in hardship. A side that held the qualities which allowed her to fight as well as she did and to hit the targets with the dangerous accuracy that she did. The mysterious side. However, Winston realised that Lara was exactly the same, except brought up in a way which dispelled the innocence and replaced it with a charm that only the most aristocratic held. Brought up in a way which dispelled any easily attained joy that only those who have suffered deep and terrible things cannot find, and in a way which allowed her to cover her dark side. Yes, Winston knew that Lara was ruthless. He did not hide this fact, neither did she for that matter. No-one doubted that the woman would do almost anything to have what she wanted.

The butler gasped as he saw Doppelgänger drop to her knees and curl up in a ball, hugging her knees to her chest. He rushed towards her and laid a wrinkled hand on her shoulder's which were shaking with silent sobs. She looked up briefly and saw him. He had never seen such sorrow in those amber eyes before, and he hoped he would never see it again.

"I tried so hard Mister." If it hadn't been for the situation, Winston would have smiled that she still called him 'Mister', despite the amount of times he had told her to call him Winston. Her voice was wavering and choked, and as usual was mechanical and inarticulate.

"I tried to see how Lara was…" She paused to find the right words.

"… How she was seeing it… and how it hurt. And I tried to help her see that I was sorry and that it was Natla's fault I did what I did… I thought she understood… but hurt has made her… has made her not see clearly." She broke off, unable to continue, and her golden tears continued to run down her pale skin. Winston stood as still as a statue with his hand on Doppelgänger's shoulder. If there was one thing he had learnt in his long life, it was that people such as Lara and Doppelgänger often just needed someone to listen. They didn't always need advice and reassurance, though at times they _did_.

Neither Winston nor Doppelgänger were sure how long they had spent on the front lawn. All Doppelgänger knew was that her knees were raw from the biting frost and all that Winston knew was that his feet were drenched, and so cold he felt they might fall off at any moment. Winston's voice suddenly broke the silence, like a pebble dropping into a ripple-less pool.

"Come, Miss Doppelgänger, before you catch your death." Doppelgänger stood shakily and gave him a tired smile. Her next words were dripping with heartbreak and grief, betraying the darkness over her heart, which she had hidden so well with her mysterious smile.

"What would be bad about that?"

**There you go lads! That should keep you going XD As usual, please review, and then I'll give you a cookie! It's a win-win situation *thumbs up* *creepy smile***

**Also, even though I do not own Tomb Raider or any said characters, for paranoia reasons:**

**© LiveLongLoveLife-xDataRulezx 2010**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Here's another chapter, since I took so long updating in the first place.**

**Again, please give my prequel to this story ****'Just Friends'**** a read. Drop me a review and tell me how you like it. I'd love to hear your opinions, because you're all so AWESOME ^_^**

**Also, please give me some feedback and an ending for my TR one-shot ****'Ten Seconds'****, for which I am running a competition, where the author of the best ending will be widely acknowledged! And you will get virtual trophy and a whole BAG of virtual cookies (or any other sweet… you can choose ;D)! How awesome would that be?**

**Also for those of you who like Star Trek: The Next Generation, Inkheart or King Kong, please read any more of my fanfics that take your fancy. The King Kong fans could also join my King Kong forum, which holds various discussion topics and a RPG.**

**Anyway, now Lara appears to be sane… will this last? And if not, will any more problems crop up? Stay tuned to find out!**

**(Almost done!) Please, please, PLEASE review! I know how many of you are actually out there reading this and you don't have an excuse XP But seriously, they really keep me going. I don't know what I'd do without gyikhu who doles me reviews like porridge ;D I'd probably give up actually… so yea, this is a grave situation.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Tomb Raider (well, in my mind I do, but that's different) as much as I wish I do, I thus do not own any characters within… not even Alister (which I'm gutted about).**

Chapter Eleven: Lonely Raindrops, Tears and Sweat

A few hours after Winston's encounter with Doppelgänger, Lara woke up to the sound of rain striking her window, like fairies tapping on her windowpane, trying to coax her out of bed. Lara rolled over onto her stomach so she could look out of her window. She squinted out at the colourless landscape. Hoar frost lined the fields, and skeletal trees stood cruel and proud, reaching up with bony fingers towards the watery sun like some members of a strange, long-gone cult, dancing in celebration of their sun god. The sun was a ghostly, sickly colour, almost white. The sky was a mixture of grey and off-white, the clouds seemed heavy and ominous, the raindrops filling from them as if they were the tears of someone bereaved.

Lara stared at the lonely raindrops rolling down the window, chasing each other as if running after the prospect of the company.

_Company. _A single tear rolled down Lara's stoic, resolute face. She had a feeling she would never long for company again, at least not in the way she used to long for Alister's. Lara wiped the tear away hurriedly, though it was soon replaced by another.

"He's gone." Lara whispered to herself, cementing it into her mind.

"Gone. Gone. Gone! _Dead_!" She whispered, allowing herself to sink into her pillows once more. It was then the tears fell. Gushing onto the pillow like blood from a wound. Tears which were filled with sorrow at Alister's departure, resentment at Natla for taking him. Anger at herself for letting such a thing happen and for blaming it on Doppelgänger. And tears of bitter-sweet realisation. Realisation that there was nothing she could do, realisation he was gone… Alister was gone, out of her life, forever. Realisation that there was nothing she could have done to prevent it.

A dark shadow covered Lara's heart, a shadow that was blacker than the deepest tomb, blacker than Natla's heart. Creatures crawled out of the shadow, creatures of horrifying shapes and ghastly imagery, and bored into Lara's heart, tunneling deeper into it like woodworms, weakening its structure, until she felt it would collapse, like a mansion, tumbling into the darkness of the night.

_Enough of this pitiful self-indulgence. _Lara commanded to herself, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand.

_Think of the times you _did _have, not the ones you missed out on. _Despite those words, Lara couldn't help feeling that her life had been snatched out of her hands, by a cruel, uncaring world that couldn't begin to understand the love and care in Lara' s heart.A world that only was familiar with what exists in an uncaring, empty heart. A world that couldn't begin to understand what a heart can truly feel.

After a further half-hour of weeping Lara dragged herself out of bed. Crying had left her feeling weak and wretched inside, two feelings she did not relish. She pulled herself into her bathroom and brushed her teeth. She then brushed her hair and tied it back into a plait. She donned a pair of body hugging khaki shorts and a black, short-sleeved t-shirt. Then, grabbing a lavender scented towel from a wooden chest, she headed downstairs. She entered her kitchen and filled up a couple of bottle with cool, clear water and then went over to her gym.

Lara laid down the towel and placed the bottles of water beside it. She then headed over to a climbing wall. She began to climb up it, her fingers searching for good handholds in the tacky green material. Upon reaching the top of it she pushed herself off the wall, simultaneously twisting around, and grabbed a lateral pole that hung suspended from the roof on another metal bar. She swung around the pole, doing her best to breathe evenly. She cursed herself for not continuing with her training. She released her grip, and momentum carried her forward onto a platform that hung from the roof by four thick cords. From there Lara leapt onto a perpendicular pole, the metal cool to the touch, and leapt from there onto another platform. A zip wire lead from there to a faux granite slab and upon reaching it Lara leapt to a thin ledge upon which she could hold on to. She twisted her head around to see the next lateral bar which was a few feet along from her and a few feet behind her. She licked her lips with a sandpaper-like tongue, debating whether to try what was most likely the hardest jump in the gym. The woman frowned, set her jaw and with a determined glint in her eye leapt towards it. Sure enough she miscalculated the distance and fell to the ground, her fingers just grazing the bar. She had managed to land on her feet by some miracle, but unfortunately enough, she had landed on one foot in an awkward angle, hereby twisted her ankle.

Lara swore, and taking a swig from one of her bottles of water she limped from the gym. She entered the lounge and collapsed onto her couch, wiping layers of sweat off her brow.

_That's the last time I stop training for a while. _She thought to herself, and with an aching ankle, injured pride and a wounded heart, she dragged herself off to bed.

**Stay tuned for disturbing dreams, intensive therapy and general angst! YAY! I'm not depressed… Really, I swear!**

**XD Review, review… and… oh, um… ah yes… REVIEW! Bless you all!**

**P.S. Would you prefer chocolate bars to cookies? I'm running low on the latter…. And I kinda bought all the shop had….. O_o**

**Also, even though I do not own Tomb Raider or any said characters, for paranoia reasons:**

**© LiveLongLoveLife-xDataRulezx 2010**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Hey guys! I'm back again, with an update too ^_^**

**isaalacrymosaa: It's now I realise I've been spelling your name wrong XD Good to hear you're enjoying it so far ^_^ Well what can I say? You know how I love my angst ;)**

**gyikhu: I'm glad you liked the landscape description ^_^ I tried hard on that so I'm glad you noticed ^_^ Yea well… XD I LOVE ANGST XD Yea… I think I should have made her suffer a bit more with the ankle… I dunno, maybe I was in a mercy mood or something (Don't get used to it Lara ;) ). Here you go ^_^ Thank you for your review for Chapter 10 as well ^_^ I'm glad you liked the mood ^_^**

**crusherccme: **

**Please R&R my other Tomb Raider fanfics and any others that take your fancy. **

**Lastly, ENJOY!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Tomb Raider (well, in my mind I do, but that's different) as much as I wish I do, I thus do not own any characters within… not even Alister (which I'm gutted about).**

Chapter Twelve: No-so-sweet Dreams

Thud, thump, thud, thump. _Lara closed her eyes, as her feet thumped against the asphalt, jarring her joints painfully. She was barely aware of the pain that racked her body. The only things that she was aware of were the excruciatingly repetitive rhythm of her heart-beat and the agonizingly grating breath of the one following her. The person had to be about a mile behind her at least and yet their breathing echoed loud and clear in her head as did their words, which were hissed in a menacing whisper and dripped with venom and malice .The words which were spoken in the voices of the many innocent men and women that had died because of her._

'_You can't run, Lara, and you can't hide. You're going to pay Lara. Pay.'_ _Lara covered her ears instinctively, but of course this did not affect the chorus of angry yet strangely quiet voices._

We'll get you Lara. We'll get you and we'll hurt you _the voices promised in a haunting whisper. Tears ran freely down Lara's face as waves of regret, sorrow and shame mercilessly battered the defenses she had built with such thought and precision around her heart. She closed her eyes and stumbled on blindly, her wails mingling with those in her head. _

_Soon the back of Lara's throat and her lungs began to burn, and her legs began to feel stiff and as heavy as lead. Still she dragged herself on, even as the chorus of voices increased in volume in her head, now speaking out of time: portions of conversation she had had with all those who had died because of her…._

'Because of me.' _Lara thought._

'Because of me.'

'_Because of you.' The voices chimed in angrily. Abruptly, all but one voice ceased to speak._

'_I died because of you. Because you had to find Avalon. Because you had to risk all you had to find Avalon.' Lara sobbed even louder as she realised who the owner was of that plaintive voice._

"_I'm sorry! I'm sorry Alister! I'm sorry all of you!" Screamed Lara to the heavens, and drawing to a halt._

"_I'm sorry, just… Pl... please leave me alone. I didn't mean for you all to die!" Lara pleaded in a whisper, her voice trembling uncontrollably._

"_Nonetheless, we did." Alister's voice replied calmly, nonchalantly almost, echoing down the walls of the endless, narrow alleyway Lara had been running down. The rest of the chorus suddenly piped up._

"_We did, we did nonetheless." They concurred._

"_It's your fault Lara."_

"_All your fault, all your fault. We died; it's all your fault." The chorus repeated in a monotonous voice, growing louder and louder until Lara's head began to throb with a ruthless pain._

"_God make it stop!" Lara cried, sinking to her knees, her voice bouncing off the concrete walls and echoing loudly in her head like a broken record. _

"_No! No, no, no!" Lara screeched, tears flowing in torrents down her cheeks, as she pounded her fists on the dirty tarmac. She stopped abruptly and leapt away as a hand fell onto her shoulder. She turned around and stared with despairing and sorrowful eyes into the cold eyes of the woman before her._

"_Mother?" She asked in an incredulous whisper. The woman, who was indeed Lady Croft, ignored her daughter and went on, the voice of the chorus flowing from her lips._

"_You've been very bad Lara, and do you know what we must do to bad people?" Lady Croft bent down close to her daughter, the voice of the chorus dropping to a whisper._

"_We punish them."_

"_No." Lara whimpered, shaking like a puppy who was about to get a beating, and who knew what was coming._

"_No, no, no." She held up a hand as Lady Croft raised an open hand. _

"_Please… no…" She sobbed. _

"_I'm so...rry…"Lady Croft smiled almost sweetly, though the voice of the chorus was mocking and cruel._

"_It's too late for that Lara. You are going to pay." _

"_No! No!"_

Lara woke from her sleep with a whimper, her eyes madly scanning the dark crevices of her bedroom automatically. Perspiration shone on her heaving chest like droplets of dew on a nettle leaf. She inhaled through her mouth furiously, gulping down the air like water. She closed her eyes to take refuge from the imaginary monsters that were lurking in the shadows in her bedroom. As it turned out, closing her eyes was a bad plan also, the monsters following her into her mind as well. She opened her eyes again and sat up in bed, rubbing her arms which were covered in goose bumps. She flung back the bed sheets, which were sodden with sweat, and went over to her light switch, dragging her sore leg behind her. She flicked it, and unhesitatingly the lights turned on. She rubbed her eyes wearily and glanced over at her clock.

"Five a.m." She mumbled.

"Ridiculous."

Lara was half surprised and half disgusted as she realised she was trembling.

"It's just a dream." She told herself sternly.

"It can't hurt you. It's just a dream. It can't hurt you…" She repeated this over and over to herself like a mantra. Nevertheless, she trembled even more fiercely, as each detail of the dream replayed itself over again: The dark grimy alley, the haunting chorus, her mother.

"_It's your fault_." Lara shook her head and stood to go downstairs. She dragged her leg with the sore ankle (which had begun to swell madly) behind her. Upon reaching her kitchen, Lara poured herself a glass of water, and with some difficulty hoisted herself onto a stool at her breakfast bar.

Lara gazed into the still water in the glass, and her own sad eyes stared right back. She took a sip and placed the glass back down again, her reflection now distorted.

_A little like my view of myself. _Lara thought.

_Distorted. I think of myself as brave and look at what I've been reduced to: A bundle of nerves, all because of a dream. _

Indeed at that moment Lara didn't know whether she was more shaken up about the dream, or that she had been frightened by it…

**Wow… I'm evil O_o XD REVIEW PLEASE! And you will get even MORE chocolate bars/cookies/anything you ask for (within reason, I mean you know… ALISTER IS MINE *cough* *cough*) **

**Also, even though I do not own Tomb Raider or any said characters, for paranoia reasons:**

**© LiveLongLoveLife-xDataRulezx 2010**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Hey guys! Thanks for all your lovely reviews for the previous chapter ^_^ Regards to Alister's and Lady Croft's appearance in the dream, I know with Alister blaming her it was kinda unrealistic, but I did this to… well… make it as hellish for Lara as possible, and Lara's mother represented Lara's subconscious thoughts and her conscience. I hope it makes more sense now ^_^**

**My apologies to crusherccme – I forgot to write out my acknowledgment for you in the previous chapter (or did I edit it… can't remember XD) *blushes* Anyway, thank you for your review and I'm glad you're enjoying it :) Oh course you may have a cookie! *hands a cookie***

**gyikhu: Thank you once more for your review ^_^ I'm glad you loved the dream ^_^ **

**lara anne: Thank you for all your reviews ^_^ In such a short space of time too! I'm glad you liked the dream and I am glad you really like the story so far!**

**isaalacrymosaa: There… I think I've spelt it right :) Thank you for all your reviews! I'm glad you're enjoying the story so far!**

**I would like to dedicate this chapter to gyikhu – for all the encouraging, well thought out reviews (and chats) which were, I believe, for all the chapters :) – and lara anne – for all the encouragement, brilliant reviews and suggestions. You are both awesome! The next chapter will be in honour of everyone who has ever reviewed and/or favourited and/or put on alert.**

**Disclaimer: The author does not claim to be associated with Tomb Raider in any way, apart from her fanfictions and the games she owns :)**

Chapter Thirteen: Dr Melanie Fleming

"Miss Croft?" Lara looked up startled at the voice, almost spilling her half-full glass of water in the process.

"Oh! Doctor Greenwood!" She declared.

"You startled me!"

"My apologies." The Doctor said with a kindly smile, removing his glasses and cleaning them with the hem of the silky, forest green dressing gown he was wearing. He placed the spectacles back on his nose and looked at the clock that was mounted on the wall.

"What are you doing up?" He asked her curiously, his brow crinkling like brown wrapping paper. His nose wrinkled as it always did when he was worried.

"It's not even 6 o'clock yet."

"I could ask you the same question Doctor," Lara countered with a mysterious smile.

"Touché." The man replied with a slight smile. The smile faded in a matter of moments. The Doctor let out a sigh which seemed to be drawn out of his mouth smoothly by some invisible string.

"What is it Doctor?" Lara asked with a frown.

"I suppose now is a good a time as any to tell you…" The Doctor said softly. Lara straightened in her seat, her eyes immediately becoming colder than ever, like two spheres of ice. She could feel the muscles in her back tense up. Her hand was clutching the glass of water so tight it was surprising that the glass didn't shatter.

_Well, that's never a good sign… _She thought to herself grimly.

"I am referring you," The man began slowly.

"…To a good friend and colleague of mine, Doctor Melanie Fleming." He paused to gauge Lara's response… not that there was any to gauge. Her expression was perfectly the same, stern and unreadable… as wooden as a marionette. Lara's eyes flickered down to the wood of the island she was sitting at, as she absentmindedly followed the grain with her finger. The silence was unnerving, making the Doctor jittery. Finally Lara opened her mouth to speak.

"A psychologist?" She asked in an even voice, looking up at the Doctor with impenetrable brown eyes. He said nothing but nodded sadly.

"I see," Said Lara, wrinkling her forehead as if in pain.

"It is that serious?" She asked the Doctor unnecessarily. He nodded solemnly.

"I believe so Miss Croft." He said regretfully, almost in a whisper. He dug his fingers into his thighs waiting for the storm to come. Surprisingly, none did.

"I see…" Lara said, laying down her glass firmly, her mouth draw into a pencil thin line. She elegantly swung her legs off the stool and stood up. She noiselessly tucked the stool in to the island and padded over to the Doctor, her feet making no noise and her hips rolling with a feline like grace. She extended a hand and shook the Doctor's when he placed his warm one in hers.

"Thank you Doctor," She said, releasing his hand and turning towards the door of the kitchen. She paused and placed her hand on the door frame.

"Will you be leaving us today Doctor?" She asked curiously over her shoulder.

"Yes, Miss Croft." Lara gave a nod, and paused as if processing this information before ambling off down the corridor and up the stairs to the library.

Lara opened the door to the library with a flourish and looked around the room with a mad glint in her eyes. Black flames of anger licked her insides, burning her throat like acid. She let out an angry screech, which was reminiscent of the wind howling on the ghostly night she first saw 'Alister'. She hit out at a box with her hand sending it crashing down to the floor. The sides of the box split and books scattered onto the floor, their yellowing pages coming loose and carpeting the floor. She hit another box with what was almost a cry of pain, and then another, and then another… and then with her hand raised about to strike… she paused. She looked inside the already open box before her and her hand lowered by its own accord. She placed a hand lightly on the box, almost reverently and studied the contents: A bedraggled teddy bear, a picture, a bottle of cologne and a deep blue dressing gown.

Lara couldn't remember packing any of those things. Winston must have done it. She closed her eyes and took a breath, leaning on the table the box was on for support.

_How could I have let it come to this? _She wondered to herself. A tear trickled slowly down her nose like a sad kiss. She didn't bother to wipe it away as it clung to the end of her nose, like a small diamond. She opened her eyes with a soft sigh and reached inside the box. She pulled out the cologne first. She rolled the blue bottle over in her hands, letting the smooth glass rub against her skin. It was, or rather had been, Alister's. _Everything _in the box had belonged to Alister, and a memory went with all of them; the cologne, the bedraggled teddy bear, the dressing gown… and of course, the picture. Lara put the cologne down on the table and picked up the picture. It was of Alister and herself, at a convention on the Aztecs, if Lara's memory was correct. Lara had her arm draped around Alister's shoulder. Her smile was pure happiness, not enigmatic and mysterious as it had been before she had met him. He was grinning madly, boasting perfectly straight, gleaming white teeth.

One of Lara's tears fell and splashed down onto the glass of the frame. The sun glimmered and glinted off the glass, shining in Lara's eyes until she put it back in the box and in the shade. She collapsed into a chair, sending up billows of dust. She coughed and closed her eyes, and it wasn't long until fatigue made her retreat into sleep.

**I know this chapter is tiny and pathetic, but I just wrote it to try and get back into the swing. I was on the verge of giving up so I knew I had to get my lazy backside to my computer and actually do something :D **

**Thanks for hanging in their guys! I'll try to update quicker!**

**Also, even though I do not own Tomb Raider or any said characters, for paranoia reasons:**

**© LiveLongLoveLife-xDataRulezx 2010**


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: Again, guys, sorry for the delay! I'm having trouble just getting my butt on my seat and writing for some reason :D**

**Thanks to gyikhu and lara anne for their especially encouraging words for the previous chapter, as I really wasn't happy with that chapter at all :) **

**And, crusherccme, you're welcome to all the cookies you want as long as those reviews keep coming ;)**

**This chapter is in honour of **_**everyone **_**who has reviewed, favourited, put on alert or otherwise supported me. I owe it all to you!**

**We are fast approaching the end of this journey though, my friends! But if you enjoy reading my stories, you might want to give 'Just Friends' or 'Ten Seconds', and you might want to keep your eyes peeled as I am thinking about writing another TR fanfiction as soon as I finish playing Angel of Darkness.**

**Disclaimer: I am in no way connected with Tomb Raider, but I am totally married to Alister. How does that work? Because I said so, that's why ;)**

Chapter Fourteen: Therapy

"I get the impression you do not want to be here,"

Lara looked up at the graying woman sitting on the chair in front of her. Her mouse brown hair had strands of grey running through it, like threads of silver, and her pale skin was creased, in particularly around her mouth and eyes. She peered over her glasses with her soft grey eyes at the younger woman who was sitting on the couch before her.

"I don't think I need someone with a doctor's degree in psychology to tell me that," Lara replied coldly. Doctor Fleming scribbled in her notebook, before gazing levelly at Lara once more.

"And why is that, exactly?" She asked. "Are you… afraid? Of the unknown perhaps…?"She picked her words carefully and spoke them softly, as if fearing she might say something to offend the young woman, yet Doctor Fleming looked strangely placid and nonchalant.

"No," Lara replied, shortly. "Of course not."

"Well, that's the impression you give."

"But it's not."

"Then why? Why do you dislike here so much?"

Lara stood up briskly.

"Are you leaving?" Doctor Fleming asked calmly.

"Would you stop me?" Lara replied. There was a pause.

"No…" Doctor Fleming said slowly. "But all the same, I don't think you will."

Lara stared at her coldly. She abruptly looked away at the books on the shelf.

"You're right of course," Lara said, walking over to the bookshelf and running her finger along the dusty wood and then examining her dirty finger.

"You can help me. As much as it pains me to admit it, you can help me." There was a deathly silence in the room, one which smothered the mind with a warm, smoggy cloud and which blocked your ears with sweaty, calloused fingers. Lara walked to the window. It was in terrible need of cleaning. Watermarks from the recent rains ran down its surface on the outside, and dust coated it on the inside. Lost rays of golden sun caressed Lara's brow.

"Would you care to be seated?" Doctor Fleming asked softly.

"I would rather stand," Lara said proudly, holding her hands behind her back, like an army General.

"If it pleases you," The Doctor replied. "Now, why are you here today?"

"Surely you know."

"I do, but I'd like to hear you tell me."

Lara stood completely still, staring into the fading blue hills in the distance with a pair of misty eyes. _Should _she let this stranger in? _Could_ she let this stranger in? _Would _she let this stranger in? Excluding Anaya, Lara could not think of one person she could completely confide in that was alive, perhaps Winston, yes, Zip? No, not quite. She was afraid of letting people in. They always got hurt. Of course, she knew it was a completely different situation this time. Her relationship with Doctor Fleming was to be completely professional, she would barely leave a mark on the Doctor's heart, and likewise the Doctor would not leave a mark on hers. They would eventually part ways, and continue with their lives just as before. Outside the office the Doctor would probably barely acknowledge her, not to say Lara wanted it any other way: the less people in her life, the better. That meant there was less chance of her, or someone else, getting hurt.

However, despite the facts, Lara couldn't help thinking she could tell this stranger what she was feeling. Whether it was pride, or the need to be safe, to not be hurt as she had so many times before, something in the young woman made her resist the very idea of letting out her emotions, pouring out her heart. The idea of vulnerability was far too frightening. And yet she knew there was no choice. It was this… or insanity. Lara grimaced. She remembered how she had been only a few days ago, and a bubble of anger welled up inside her, like blood from a wound. She couldn't believe she lets herself slip so far, stoop so low. She shouldn't have let it go that far; she shouldn't have let it come to this. The old Lara wouldn't need to stand before a Doctor, with a broken heart in her hand and a shattered mind in need of fixing. She would have got up, dusted herself off and been and good as new… or perhaps that had been an illusion in the very first play. She had always deemed herself to be strong, not indestructible: anyone who thought that of themselves was a fool. Now, however, she had begun to doubt that. Perhaps before it hadn't been strength, but denial, suppression. That realisation stung. It wasn't strength that had kept her from falling apart when her mother had died back in Nepal: she had just detached herself from everything. She was weak. And that hurt. It hurt more that words could possibly say.

"Did you hear me Lara? Lara?"

"I heard you Doctor." Lara turned to face Doctor Fleming. Her face was cold, impassive, yet her eyes sparkled with tears and shone with anger. "I don't know where to begin," she continued, seating herself on an armchair.

"How about from the beginning. How are you today?" Lara chuckled dryly.

"Pretty darn awful,"

"Why's that?" The smile fell off of Lara's face and she bowed her head.

"He's gone," She said emotionlessly.

"Who's gone?" Doctor Fleming prodded, even though Lara was sure she knew the answer to _that _question, at least. Lara answered it all the same.

"Alister."

"Alister. Alister Fletcher?" Lara closed her eyes.

"Yes." The name made puncture wounds in her heart.

"How did he die?"

"He was shot."

"Did you see it?" Silence.

"Lara?" Silence.

"Lara, did you understand the question.

"Yes."

"Yes…?"

"Yes, I saw it. I was there." The event played back in Lara's mind. Doppelgänger's swift, fluid efficiency. The pain on Alister's face. His last whispered words.

_I'll see you in Avalon…_

"What did you feel when it happened?"

"Sad… angry, afraid, heartbroken…"

"Heartbroken?" Doctor Fleming stopped scribbling in her notebook as she had been all through their conversation.

"We were… close." Lara explained, her voice clearly saying she did not want to elaborate any further.

"You said you were afraid?"

"I…" Lara gulped. She had never told anyone this before.

"I was afraid, because… I didn't know… how to go on without him." Where she expected a snigger Lara only received a hum.

"And you mentioned about being angry?" Lara idly picked up a pamphlet on depression which was sitting along with a few others on the table beside her armchair.

"Yes… angry…" There was a pause.

"Who with, I wonder?" Doctor Fleming murmured, almost to herself. She peered at Lara over her glasses after making a few more notes in her notebook.

"With myself," Lara said, abruptly tightening her hand around the pamphlet with a scrunching sound. It sat creased and folded in her hand.

"I should have been able to stop it. I should have been able to bring him back. I should have… _ I should have_!" Lara stood once more, her feet landing heavily on the floor. She threw her pamphlet down angrily.

"Did it ever occur to you that demanding such things from yourself would be… unreasonable?" The Doctor asked calmly, seemingly unsurprised by her patient's sudden mood swing.

"But I _should _have! I don't think you understand!" Lara's voice was raised. "I…" Doctor Fleming interrupted before Lara could have said any more.

"Lara. Alister is dead," Her voice was soft yet unrelenting. Lara dropped slowly to the floor with her eyes closed tight. She bit her lip to stop her sobs from sounding. Silent tears trickled down her cheeks.

"There is nothing you could, or can, do alone. You cannot blame yourself for his death."

"But I hired him. If I hadn't, maybe he would have had a safe job, as a Professor or a librarian." Lara wailed, her words merging together in an almost incoherent mess.

"He would have died at some point. Probably not from a bullet, no, but he would have died. He was happy working for you, yes? He did the job willingly?" Lara could only nod weakly in reply.

"Then he was as responsible as you are, and yet, you don't blame him, do you?" Lara felt firm hands grip her shoulders.

"Lara. It is not. Your. Fault. And you have got to let go."

It was then that Lara let go.

**Phew! Talk about an emotional rollercoaster :D I actually enjoyed that… does that make me evil? O_o**

**I hope I didn't make the Doctor too brutal. I just wanted her to have the impersonal edge to her :)**

**Anyway, please review! I've restocked on cookies and chocolate bars :D I accept anonymous reviews :)**

**Also, even though I do not own Tomb Raider or any said characters, for paranoia reasons:**

**© LiveLongLoveLife-xDataRulezx 2010-2011**


	15. Note from the Author

**Hey guys!**

**Just wanted to let you know I'll be redoing this whole story. I'll keep it up here for now, but I'll delete it once I start posting the new version :)**

**Thanks!**

**- ZM xoxo**


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